Forgiveness

I need to write a few things down so that I am clear in my own mind about what I am reading, so I MAY come back and correct myself later.

One of the convicting things I have been reading in my couseling study is about apologies in contrast to asking for forgiveness. Dr. Adams is bringing to light that an apology is simply a man made substitute for what God commanded. If a person goes to a another he has wronged and says, "I'm sorry!", the most normal reaction is a quick, "Oh, that's ok!" That is not what God asked us to do. We are to confess and receive forgiveness. It is quite different to go to a person and say, "I have sinned against God and against you and I ask you to forgive me!" It is then up to the wronged person to choose to forgive.

I don't think I really understood what forgiveness was completely. Here is a quote from Dr. Adams in "A Theology of Christian Counseling": "Forgiveness is a lifting of the charge of guilt from another, a formal declaration of that fact and a promise (made and kept) never to remember the wrong against him in the future." That is much more involved than a simple "Oh, that's ok!"

I think one of my problems has been in the area of not confronting a brother as instructed in Luke 17:3-4. You see how we minimize what God commands. The issue is that God be able to work in our lives. As christians, if my brother offends me and I choose to just absorb that with no acknowledgement of the trangression, do I not say that my peace is more important than God's commandment? The issue here is that God be allowed access to my heart and my brother's heart so that He may have free reign in our lives. There is also the pride issue. Do I not "look" more spiritual if I just take the offense silently? Sometimes, I think we may try to take on a martyr complex. There is much more involved here that I don't understand yet. Hopefully, much more will be explained soon.