A Discussion of Vanity
I am overweight! I could stand to lose quite a bit of weight and the worst part of it is that I carry the most of it in my abdominal area. I know why I gained the weight. I have overeaten for years and that combined with the slowing down of my metabolism has given me an "eternally pregnant" look. I hate it!!! I don't want to look this way.
Since my mother-in-law has moved in, she never misses a chance to bring attention to the fact of how ashamed she is of me. She was so proud of how I looked as a young woman....with my 103 pound, 5'2" frame. That was 39 years ago!
I have always been a busy person. I am not athletic but constantly on the move. I can not imagine how I would look if I had a very calm, and inactive personality.
I have been accused of not caring what I look like! So, this is going to be a discussion of my innermost feelings.
I would love to be thin again. I think that it is a good testimony first of all. I think the fat makes me look as if I am sloppy and don't care and I believe that some people automatically form an opinion of a overweight person as being lazy. I hate the word lazy and have all my life fought to keep anyone from thinking that.
Let me discuss a bit of who I think I am. I really believe that I would be classified as a Sanguine. That is the spontaneous, fun-loving, people-pleaser. Whatever I do, I must do it whole-heartedly or it is uninteresting to me. If I make a commitment, I will stay with it or else I have an extreme sense of failure.
Through the years, I have put my all into many things, marriage, music, church work, motherhood and now bus ministry. I have done these things to the exclusion of personal care. Don't get me wrong, I have always tried to look my best but, extra time spent on primping was vanity to me. I have always gone for the more natural look. I have never considered myself a make-up person or fancy lady. I would, many times, like to be more lady-like, but it just didn't come naturally and I always felt a little twinge of guilt if I spent excessive time in personal care.
All of that is well and good as long as you are young and vibrant and your natural look is acceptable. Now we come to the time when the body is deteriorating and many areas could use extra attention. I have more time to devote to myself now that the children are out of the house but I can not justify the time.
So, now we come to the area of dieting. I went on a thirteen week diet plan with some of the ladies at church and did very well, losing 24 pounds. I felt good about it but it was so much work. As soon as I quit planning myself separate meals and exercising, I gained those 24 pounds plus quite a few more back.
If I were to go on a diet again, it would greatly hamper my life now. The eight glasses of water are easy enough to do but keep you in the bathroom a lot of the time. The days that I get to ride with my husband, which he likes for me to do, are unbearable if I am drinking all that water. Also, Saturday bus visitation and Sundays are impossible.
I don't like to do anything unless I can see that it is truly something that will be eternally important. So my question is: Why lose weight when I will soon have a brand new body? Now I know that we will give an account for the things God has given us but I believe that the account we will give will be here on earth. My sins have been paid for. God sees me perfect through His Son! I believe that the account I will give for my body shape will be in the form of illness or consequences of obesity. When I stand before God, I will be rewarded for the deeds of the flesh. In light of that, do I really want to put a lot of effort into dieting and use that for an excuse to let down on witnessing and working for the salvation of souls. I just don't think it is that important.
I worry that it is all vanity. I don't want my husband to be ashamed of me. I suppose if he would ever word out a sentence to tell me positively that he is ashamed of me and that I embarrass him, I would feel then that I needed to make some drastic changes. But I would feel hopeless. I don't think I can. I have started leaving off a lot of sweets including most soft drinks and have gone to light margarine for my one breakfast bisquit. But I can't totally rearrange my life to accomodate my own needs. To me that would be selfish. I could never ask Mike to let me go to a weight loss program that would be expensive. I think that a structured atmosphere would help but what if it didn't and I wasted the money that we don't really have on just trying to look pleasing to people???
Do you understand my plight? I would love some input on this subject.
Lord, You know my heart better than I do! Please lead me in this area.
Since my mother-in-law has moved in, she never misses a chance to bring attention to the fact of how ashamed she is of me. She was so proud of how I looked as a young woman....with my 103 pound, 5'2" frame. That was 39 years ago!
I have always been a busy person. I am not athletic but constantly on the move. I can not imagine how I would look if I had a very calm, and inactive personality.
I have been accused of not caring what I look like! So, this is going to be a discussion of my innermost feelings.
I would love to be thin again. I think that it is a good testimony first of all. I think the fat makes me look as if I am sloppy and don't care and I believe that some people automatically form an opinion of a overweight person as being lazy. I hate the word lazy and have all my life fought to keep anyone from thinking that.
Let me discuss a bit of who I think I am. I really believe that I would be classified as a Sanguine. That is the spontaneous, fun-loving, people-pleaser. Whatever I do, I must do it whole-heartedly or it is uninteresting to me. If I make a commitment, I will stay with it or else I have an extreme sense of failure.
Through the years, I have put my all into many things, marriage, music, church work, motherhood and now bus ministry. I have done these things to the exclusion of personal care. Don't get me wrong, I have always tried to look my best but, extra time spent on primping was vanity to me. I have always gone for the more natural look. I have never considered myself a make-up person or fancy lady. I would, many times, like to be more lady-like, but it just didn't come naturally and I always felt a little twinge of guilt if I spent excessive time in personal care.
All of that is well and good as long as you are young and vibrant and your natural look is acceptable. Now we come to the time when the body is deteriorating and many areas could use extra attention. I have more time to devote to myself now that the children are out of the house but I can not justify the time.
So, now we come to the area of dieting. I went on a thirteen week diet plan with some of the ladies at church and did very well, losing 24 pounds. I felt good about it but it was so much work. As soon as I quit planning myself separate meals and exercising, I gained those 24 pounds plus quite a few more back.
If I were to go on a diet again, it would greatly hamper my life now. The eight glasses of water are easy enough to do but keep you in the bathroom a lot of the time. The days that I get to ride with my husband, which he likes for me to do, are unbearable if I am drinking all that water. Also, Saturday bus visitation and Sundays are impossible.
I don't like to do anything unless I can see that it is truly something that will be eternally important. So my question is: Why lose weight when I will soon have a brand new body? Now I know that we will give an account for the things God has given us but I believe that the account we will give will be here on earth. My sins have been paid for. God sees me perfect through His Son! I believe that the account I will give for my body shape will be in the form of illness or consequences of obesity. When I stand before God, I will be rewarded for the deeds of the flesh. In light of that, do I really want to put a lot of effort into dieting and use that for an excuse to let down on witnessing and working for the salvation of souls. I just don't think it is that important.
I worry that it is all vanity. I don't want my husband to be ashamed of me. I suppose if he would ever word out a sentence to tell me positively that he is ashamed of me and that I embarrass him, I would feel then that I needed to make some drastic changes. But I would feel hopeless. I don't think I can. I have started leaving off a lot of sweets including most soft drinks and have gone to light margarine for my one breakfast bisquit. But I can't totally rearrange my life to accomodate my own needs. To me that would be selfish. I could never ask Mike to let me go to a weight loss program that would be expensive. I think that a structured atmosphere would help but what if it didn't and I wasted the money that we don't really have on just trying to look pleasing to people???
Do you understand my plight? I would love some input on this subject.
Lord, You know my heart better than I do! Please lead me in this area.
posted by momlinda1945 | 9:35 AM
1 Comments:
That's a tough one... I can kind of see your point on both sides. But I have to think that there is some way that you could alter eating habits that would affect this and wouldn't be taking out a life savings to do so isn't there? I don't know specifically, but surely that's possible. People make up their minds to start "eating healthy" all the time. Sticking with it is another story I guess though. Not that situation this is as bad as you're making it out to sound like though I don't think personally.
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