Birthday Blessings

Well, the big 6-0 is coming up real soon. Maleah came over on Saturday and after bus visitation we went to the mall where she helped me pick out some new clothes.

It is always very depressing to buy clothes so I have just worn the same thing until they have nearly fallen off of me. It really doesn't matter. I deal with my optimistic personality while trying on clothes and then when I get home I see things the way they really are.

I was very excited about one jacket and blouse that I thought would look great with my black skirt, only to find that it looked H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E!!! Those will be returned and traded for something a little more becoming.

I enjoyed my day with Maleah, as usual. She always makes life interesting and fun and I love fun!!

Thanksgiving

I am behind on this one! We had a nice Thanksgiving with PLENTY to eat. I was very conservative on my eating and did not overdo it this year. I am now to the point of life that food just doesn't look exciting. Now don't get me wrong. I get really hungry but the food I eat rarely does satisfy me. Don't say anything but I think the tastebuds, along with everything else are aging.

Casey and Maleah and Ryan came over for lunch and we enjoyed a time of fellowship with some board games afterwards.

I don't think we ever did say anything about what we were thankful for but there are lots of things.

I am especially thankful for my heritage and for being able to see God work through my parents. I am thankful for the good husband that God gave me. He has been loyal and faithful through ups and downs. I am thankful for the three beautiful children God gave me and all the memories I have with each one of them. I am thankful for my church family and all the memories of the many services for all these years. I am thankful that God still blesses when we bring our actions in line with his desires. I am thankful that I will not receive what I deserve for this life I have lived so recklessly many times. I am thankful for God's love that never ceases. I am thankful that I have a foundation and a rock to stand on when things are not what I imagined they would be nor what I hoped for.

Psalm 103:24
"O Lord, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches."

YAY Bus 5!!!

Bus 5 did it again! We had 45 yesterday and 4 of them were on the bus for the very first time. It was not an extremely spiritual time due to the fact that it takes too long to get all the information from newcomers on the way in and deal with the different problem areas while trying to lead songs and get to church safely.

Several weeks ago, Jessica got saved and she is such a blessing. She brought another visitor this week. Week before last she brought her little brother, Chuckie, and he brought his friend, Matt. These children are all in homes that are broken. That usually means that they are different homes each weekend. Consequently, Matt came the one Sunday and the next SAturday I could get no one to the door. So, again this Saturday I knocked and he came to the door along with his mother. She was very gracious and told me that she normally has up to 6 children every other weekend. I told her the age rules and invited them to go. When we pulled up Sunday there were 4 children waiting. One of them was Matt's sister and she said her mom was going to make her go all the time. Praise the Lord for her mother, whatever the motive!

The funniest thing that happened today came from Shawna and Megan. This was the second time Megan had ridden. She is in the 3rd grade and she and Shawna are evidently pretty close. I told Shawna to teach Megan all our bus songs on the first Saturday I met her so that she would know them on Sunday. Evidently she really likes that and could hardly wait for us to start singing last week and this week.

I had gone to the back of the bus to check out a little skirmish between siblings. Just seconds before Megan had said "Mrs. Cozart, Mrs Cozart! Can we sing "Walk The Bible Way"?

I think I have put this little song on here before but just so we understand the words to this song, it goes like this:

Walk, walk, walk the bible way,
Read your bible daily, Don't forget to pray,
Walk, walk, walk the bible way,
Read your Bible every day.

Smoking, drinking, fist fights and dirty talk,
They all make you walk the dirty walk,
Smoking, drinking, fist fights and dirty talk,
Jesus says, "No, No! Don't do it!"

I heard Megan ask again if we could sing "Walk the Bible Way", but as I was busy trying to remedy the situation in the back of the bus, I put her off a little while longer. As I came down the aisle to make my way back to the front on the bus and more singing, I heard Megan say to Shawna, "I won't tell if you won't tell!" I just couldn't help myself. I sat down in the seat in front of them and said directly, "What are you not going to tell?" After being very persistent and pushing them to tell me(which was funny in itself as they squirmed and avoided my questions), finally Shawna, after lying once and being confronted by Megan, told the truth. She had, for some unknown reason, whispered a dirty word in Megan's ear. It was "a--hole" Megan had turned around impulsively and whispered "cr-p" in her ear. Conviction got the best of them and they confessed! Such a small thing and yet a little song like that had put a question in their minds about something that the majority of the kids on the bus don't even give a second thought. It was really so cute. I had an opportunity to deal with Shawna to explain to her that since she got saved last week, that did not mean that she would never sin. We talked about relationships and how when she disobeyed her dad, he was not happy but he didn't throw her out and tell her she wasn't his daughter anymore. I explained that Jesus wouldn't do that either and that Jesus knew she was going to commit that sin when she asked him to come into her heart, and he accepted her anyway. Megan doesn't quite understand about salvation yet but she is well on her way to being led by the Holy Spirit to accept that free gift.

I am extremely burdened after speaking with some of the new kids which call themselves cousins. I tried to get them to explain that relationship. As it turned out they explained that it was a tradition because they all grew up together and they also explained some of the intricate relationships between aunts, cousins, brothers, sisters, Moms and etc. I heard about illegitimate children, homosexual, and interracial relationships. How does one deal with it all? God is dealing with me that I need to get serious about witnessing to these families. We are talking about many inter-connected families with no hope of a normal life due to the excesses of sin!

I don't know how to do it. I know that I can not do a thing in the flesh but God has put me here to be used of Him. I do not know what He wants done now, but I am willing!

II Corinthians 12:9-10
"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee; for thy strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

Lord, keep me in that place!

Hurry! Hurry!

Well, the season has hit us! Let me say that as a mother, the pressure is on during this time of year. It should be a little more bearable with Grandma here to help with cooking.

I think that it is very hard to be focused on what Christmas is all about if you are caught up in all the celebrations that are inevitable. I love it all; the hustle and the bustle, but as the years pass and my energy fades, it makes it a little harder.

I remember when the children were small. We enjoyed going to Papa and Grandma's house and singing "Over The River And Through The Woods" as we came down Highway H into the big town of Leasburg. We would be so excited about relaxing and enjoying the good food. We would usually spend the afternoon in front of the TV with all the old Christmas movies.

I remember one Thanksgiving, before the children were born, when we came to Leasburg from Little Rock and on Thanksgiving Day it began to snow. It was just beautiful.

From my childhood, I remember the Thanksgiving Fellowship meeting in Fort Worth. I loved going to that and eating Thanksgiving dinner with Grandma Bowden's cooking. I loved her mashed potatoes and giblet gravy and chicken and dressing. Grandma had a big round dining room table and we enjoyed many meals there.

I remember a Christmas that we spent with Grandaddy Jim and Big Mamma. It was soooooooooooo cold in that old house. We kids would all sleep in the back bedroom with Big Mamma. There were two double beds in there with so much cover that you would get lost in it. There was no running water and no bathroom but I remember how the Christmas tree sparkled and the fruit and nuts and Christmas candy looked so exciting. I remember one of my uncles going outside our bedroom window and pretending to be Santa Clause with a big "Ho! Ho! Ho!" I remember playing Monoply until late at night with my twin uncles who were only months older than I.

I remember the many Christmas plays, programs and cantatas we have been involved in. Mike and I directed a Christmas play with the teens for the first two years after we were married. The first one was fun but the second one made me decide to never do that again! Ohhhh the memories!!!

Many Thanksgivings and Christmases have come and gone and now it is up to me to be in charge of keeping the tradition. I realize it is a lot of work and a job that I feel a bit inadequate to do.

I hope that our family keeps in mind that we have MUCH to be thankful for because of Jesus' sacrifice for us. We have a family that has been blessed! It is not a perfect family but we are blessed because of the faithfulness of our parents and grandparents.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!! (I may not be back on here again until after Christmas!

Beyond Blessings

Yes, Bus 5 held it's own and maintained it's #1 status with only 31 on the bus yesterday. We had two first time visitors. One visitor was a little 5 year old step brother to some of the girls that have been coming for about a month. His dad was very concerned about him staying with his sister for fear that he would panic alone. That little one was so excited about coming and he did VERY well with or without that sister. He wants to come back and this time go to his own class.

The other visitor was a third grade girl that lives across the street from a brother and sister(1st grade & 3rd grade) duo that have been coming now for several months. She is only in the neighborhood every other weekend due to divorce. She was also very excited about coming. I challenged our bus rider to teach her all the songs on Saturday so she would know them when she got on. Evidently she took my advice because the little visitor kept saying, "Mrs. Cozart, when are we going to sing?"

I usually don't start singing until we have everyone on the bus. That is because I can not do two things at once. The kids really do love to sing

The most exciting part was when the invitation began and I saw the door open and in walked the third grade girl who had brought the visitor. She had asked Jesus into her heart. She is such a sweetie, very outgoing and dramatic. I love that kind. You know the ones. Their eyes just dance and if you tell a story or if you talk directly to them they hang on your every word. When she and her brother get on the bus, it is quiet no longer.

I was prepared yesterday because one of the girls told me on Saturday that her boyfriend(7th grade) was going to ride with her on Sunday. So, I thought about what I should say and what rules I should make. The kids have no one teaching them the truth about what God wants in that area.

Do you ever think about how we are bombarded on every side with Satan's plan in the area of intimacy? It is heart breaking to have children get on the bus and brag that there are several children in their family and they all have different fathers. I wonder why they would brag unless some mother has tried to justify her actions by insinuating that is because she is so desirable.

So, I had it planned. I wanted to tell those girls that the fact that they could get attention from the opposite sex was not a great accomplishment. In fact, if they could keep it from happening, they were doing a much greater thing. Oh, I had it all lined out in my mind....you know....how sex is from God and it is a beautiful thing and His plan for it is best. They just don't know these things. No one is telling them!!!

As it turned out, the boyfriend didn't get on the bus BUT would you believe there were four girls that were so excited about the one teen boy that has been riding for years. (I have mentioned Kyle. He is a blessing to me. He has remained faithful and though I know he is not all God wants him to be I do sense a desire in his heart to be right.)

Before it was over, I took the four girls to the back of the bus, as they were the last ones to be delivered, so we separated from the bus driver and I gave my talk...or rather, TRIED to give my talk. I am amazed at what these children think. One was not even going to sit and listen because it makes her sick. I don't know what she thought I was going to say. I was very careful with my words and did not go into it deeply at all. I only tried to give them some basis for understanding God's plan of one man for one woman.

Of course, there were questions about their parent's actions. It is so hard to explain to them that God loves their parents but their parents have made some bad choices. Trying to explain to them that the choices ALWAYS have consequences and that is why there is so much heartache in their lives. Each one of them have experienced no father in their home, different men in their lives, a sense of unimportance and insecurity.

My heart is burdened to know how to reach this generation of kids with the plain teaching of scripture. They are surrounded with movies and TV and video games and sex education in school. One of the girls told me that they have meetings in school where they have to watch a video of a couple having sex. I am horrified by that!!!!! On top of that the girls also said that the school passes out condoms to all. Doesn't that make you mad when they have stopped allowing Gideon bibles to be passed out!! What hope do we have of a godly nation in the future? It is my prayer that God will allow me to have a part in these few lives and that they will trust God to make them godly women and challenge others to do the same. There is such pressure on our children today!

The last few weeks I have been so tired during church services that I can hardly keep my eyes open. I hate feeling like that. I know I am missing a blessing but I am having to take Ibuprofen to deal with my neck pain which makes me sleepy when I sit still.

We had our annual Missions Conference this past week and it was a blessing. Dr. Greg Baker preached some really good messages about Faith Promise giving. We had four missionary families and voted to support all of them.

Well, this week will be busy. Today, I have to take grandma to the doctor and tomorrow we will have our mid-week church service. Wednesday I have my regular hair cut and color. Then Thursday Casey and Maleah and Ryan will be coming over for Thanksgiving. We look forward to that.

A verse that stood out to me today is in II Chronicles 14:11. Good King Asa was doing what was right and good in the sight of the Lord and trying to restore the kingdom back to God. Involved in that were wars. There will always be wars in our life if we are going to live for the Lord because there will always be our sinful nature and the vicious attacks of Satan to try to distract us. Listen to Asa!

"And Asa cried unto the Lord his God, and said, Lord, it is nothing with thee to help, whether with many, or with them that have no power: help us, O Lord our God; for we rest on thee, and in thy name we go against this multitude. O Lord, thou art our God; let not man prevail against thee."

Lord, we truly do rest on Thee today, knowing that our strength is weak and our battles are too much to bear. Please keep our eyes on you and forgive us when we sink into the pit of self pity and despair! We love you, Lord for all you have done, giving up your glory to submit to the hands of mere man. Thank you for being willing to do that so that I could have eternal life. Amen

Musings of a Mother (In Retrospect)

I do realize that dwelling on the past is not usually profitable but to the extent that it may help those following.

As I age and look through the changes in my life, I am able to see a little clearly that some of the decisions I made were wrong. I couldn't see it then. I was blinded by my own passions.

One that has come to my mind lately deals with motherhood. That was a position I longed for from early childhood. I loved children and interacted with them very well. I couldn't wait to have one of my own. In God's mercy, he kept that pleasure from me until our marriage was almost into it's twelfth year.

I was filled with awe of this little one, so long awaited and equally as well for the next two. My heart was overflowing with all the love that I had saved to share with a child of my own. I think I would have been called an excellent mother. I kept my children clean and fed and they were relatively well-behaved. They were in church every time the door was open unless a rare sickness prevented it. They were educated by godly teachers and exposed to godly men and women from birth. They were protected and taught what sin was. They were each led to the Lord at an early age.

As I look back at those years now, sometimes I wonder why it didn't work as I had thought it would. I dreamed of the godly adults that had desires to spread God's word and share all they had with dying men and women. I dreamed that they would be giving people that would share materially with God's people.

When I think back about my line of thinking back in those days, I realize that I did not view my children properly. I somehow thought that if I constantly uplifted and encouraged them, that would produce the goodness I wished to see. This is where I went wrong.

As I think about it now, I realize that my job was to see their strengths AND weaknesses. I should have spotted things like fear, dishonesty, irresponsibility and pride. I should have lovingly corrected those things so that by the time they were adults, they could be free to yield better to the Holy Spirit. But, you see, I was not that spiritually mature myself. I was under the impression that if you DID the right things, that, in itself, would produce the right results.

I have wonderful children that are a blessing to me but none of them share completely my views of the spiritual life. I suppose it is because of the lack of spiritual maturity. They are each still dealing with the "weights that so easily beset them".

I'm sure that my children will probably read into this a sense of disappointment and to some extent they would be right but I do understand that there are MANY parents that would be overjoyed to have my children. I appreciate that about them. They each have many good qualities.

My reason for writing this is to possibly plant a seed in their hearts as to what might help them raise godly children.

II Timothy 3:14-17
"But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;
And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus,
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness;
That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works."

So Far Behind

Sunday was a blessing. We started our annual Missions Conference so things are moving pretty quickly.

The bus had 30 with two first time visitors. It was a good day. I got the Zambian man to ride with us home and tell a story. He was very good and held their attention for a good story.

Though we were down in numbers, we were up in blessings. I feel as though the Lord has something special in store for us each Sunday. Though we may have a small crowd, God uses those times for us to become better acquainted with some of the new children. I have learned to be thankful for whatever children God gives us.

Week before last a 14 year old boy came. I had seen him out playing basketball in one of the mobile home parks. Sure enough, as I visited with one family, he came walking down their street. He stopped and I got acquainted and asked him to church. He was tickled to come and told me he would probably wear his suit. (Of course, we older ladies understand when a gentleman is trying to impress the young ladies!!) As we pulled up to that house the next morning, there he was in his suit and ready to go. I was pleasantly surprised at how polite he was. The girls enjoyed having him and I prayed that he would get something out of the service. To be honest, I really didn't expect that he would be back because he had told me that he was staying with his grandmother and said it in a way that made me think it was a temporary arrangement.

I stopped by his grandmother's mobile home on Saturday but no one was home. So I was very excited to see him waiting with the girls when we picked them up. As we were singing, I happened to look for him and was not able to see him. As I walked to the back of the bus, I found him with ear phones on, laying up against the window. I scooted in beside him and asked him what he was listening to. He quickly showed me that he was listening to rap and hard rock. I tried not to be condemning but just asked him sweetly if he minded not doing that on the bus. I told him that we would really rather that he just listened to music that honored the Lord on the bus. He was very cooperative and took the CD player and removed the batteries and put it in his pocket.

On the way home from church, Bro Martin was telling the story and when he finished, we were singing songs and suddenly this boy stood to his feet and said."Hey, listen, you guys! There are people down in New Orleans and Texas that had a big hurricane and they still are having trouble. I think we need to pray for them!" I told him that was a very good idea. I asked him if he would like to pray for them but he quickly told me he really didn't know how. So I asked Bro. Martin to pray as we all bowed our heads. It was such a sweet gesture and by that I know that God is working in that child's life. I just pray that we can be what he needs to show him the right way.

There were many other sweet children on the bus Sunday and each day is a new and exciting experience.

Mt 18:4 (KJV) Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Veteran's Day At Second Baptist Church

What a day we had yesterday. The services were wonderful and the results were fantastic.

Let me start with first things first. Saturday visitation was such a blessing. I just love this time of year and the area I visit in has plenty of hills and valleys filled with deciduous trees. It is just breathtaking to see some of the many trees dressed in their finest foliage colors. http://community.webshots.com/album/486010139vMGmPf
If you want to see a hint of our fall colors, check the above address.

The weather on Saturday was in the low 70's with a gentle breeze blowing. I enjoyed my visitation greatly. Ryan had spent the night with us on Friday night since he was supposed to help a neighbor put their Christmas lights on their house. I didn't see much of him but it was good to see what I saw.

Sunday morning was rushed since I had to put the roast on and get ready and be at church by 7:45. We got to church with a total of 41 riders including 3 first time riders. I believe that these will continue to ride. They are all from the mobile home park that we have been going in for all these years but usually only picked up a couple. We are now getting as many as 12 out of there.

I had to use my motherly nature to help one little guy who was in a bad mood and the twins evidently didn't get their medicine. I hate that stuff!! I try not to let them use that excuse with me but those two boys are very different without it. It is as if they don't even hear you without it. I can't help but question that!

I am very excited about next Sunday because the man from Zambia is going to ride with us and tell some stories about African animals with a spiritual application. I think the kids will enjoy it very much.

Sunday School has become non-existent for me because it is almost time for church when I get through getting everyone settled in their classes and then making sure I have my records straight so, I usually just go on back into the choir room and relax for a few minutes. I hate doing that because I have always had a thing about people that thought they were too far advanced to go into a Sunday School Class. I really do enjoy Bro. Albright's teaching in the auditorium class but can not get there soon enough to hear much so instead of disturbing, I have chosen to go to the choir room.

We had a special Veteran's Day service. The choir sang several patriotic numbers. The Himes family sang a beautiful song about Our Creed. I have never heard it before but it was very effective.

We had over 50 veterans that were visitors. Our ladies and men prepared a steak dinner for them, feeding about 150 people. We also had a retired Staff Sergeant from the army to speak. He was a very good speaker. He is a missionary with BIMI.

His testimony was that he had been Catholic and while in the service had felt the emptiness of not knowing Jesus. Through the testimony of a fellow soldier who was different from the rest, he accepted Jesus. We were pleased to have two gentlemen accept Jesus in services yesterday morning. One was a verteran and the other was a young man with whom Bro. Himes had visited a few weeks ago.

Sunday night services were well attended. The choir sang a medley of songs of victory. I sang "I'm Free" and then went straight to the nursery to do my duty.

The choir song was one that no one really cared too much for while practicing but I have not been able to get the word to one chorus out of my mind. "by faith I see the victory ahead." I'm holding on to that.

It has finally soaked in that each day is a battle of choices and decisions that will cause us to be victorious in the Lord or will help us remain a nominal Christian. As you age and the aches and pains that are common to all men affect your decisions, it gets much harder to be right with God but I want to accept this as a part of maturing in the Lord.

Several blogs back, I was discussing II Peter 1:4-10. I can't quit thinking through those verses. For one thing, when I first began meditating on these verses I was trying to find where I was in the ladder of maturity: faith+virtue+knowledge+temperance+patience+godliness+brotherly kindness+charity=Spiritual Maturity. I have finally realized that this is the progression of events that must happen DAILY, with every decision. We never "arrive" until we get that brand new body! MY SOUL LONGS FOR IT DAILY!!! "By faith I see the victory ahead!!!!!"

Victory ahead, Victory ahead,
By the blood of Jesus,
Victory ahead,
Trusting in the Lord I hear the conquerors tread,
By faith I see the victory ahead!

23 years ago tomorrow(ahem...24 years ago tomorrow) my apologies!!

I wasn't there but it was a special day when Shannon Lee was born.

I remember her when she was about four. I remember her dad bending down and hugging her and calling her "Sugar-Bear". I remember when her mom told me that she wanted to dress just like Maleah. Maleah had a lot of frilly dresses that Grandma got for her. I remember the 4-Him concerts. Once Shannon's mom took them to Peoria, Illinois to see the group. Needless to say, the 4-Him guys know Shannon and Maleah. Maleah also took a train to Kansas City while Shannon was in college so they could go to a concert up there.

Shannon and Maleah used to talk to a guy who was a DJ on the local Christian radio station. Actually, Shannon had talked to him and told Maleah about him. The guy sent Shannon a picture and then Maleah started talking to him also. Tony wanted to meet them in person. I was a little uneasy with that so we arranged that I would go with them to meet him at Steak n'Shake. Sure enough, he did come and they found out that he was paralyzed from the waist down. He had been involved in a car accident when he was 19. He became a good friend and came over to visit with us several times.

I remember that I took Shannon and Maleah to St. Louis one night to see the radio station in person. Tony was on and he had invited them to come up and see it all. I got lost at one point and tried to turn into a parking lot in the dark. I can't remember all the details but I do know that I turned in front of a car and Shannon let out a scream in the back seat "We're all going to die!!!!!!!"

That same trip she mentioned that maybe she should marry Shawn. I really didn't think too much about it because she is three years younger than he is. But little did I know that God had that planned!

Shan, I hope you have a great birthday tomorrow! Make us proud with your mothering skills on that little guy!!!(Chewie, I mean!) We love you.

27 Years Ago

Whose birthday comes today,
We're waiting now to see,
Come take your place in the birthday chair and we will honor you!
Shawn has a birthday,
We're so glad,
Let us see how many he has had,
As we count the pennies we are told,
And the pennies say he's 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27 years old!!!

This is an old favorite family tradition. I learned this song at the old Leasburg Baptist Church. AND today we get to use it on our #1 son!! Happy Birthday Shawnie Boy!

Such memories!! I remember this day, 27 years ago! It was a beautiful fall morning when we set out to the Phelps County Memorial Hospital in Rolla to get this child.

I had prayed for eleven years to get the privilege of becoming a mother. It had been my hearts desire since childhood. I remember when I finally quit praying selfishly about it with a heart full of self-pity, and prayed that if it was God's will that we never have children, I could accept that. Just a short time after that, I found myself "with child"!

The pregnancy went well and Mike and I looked forward to this little bundle of joy. We took Lamaze classes and, much to my surprise, Mike had promised to go in with me.

I enjoyed every little move that baby made. It was such a fulfillment to finally be accomplishing what I had felt I was put on this earth to do.

After a few hours labor, my doctor, Dr. Bernard Draper, sent me to x-ray. I was then quickly preped for emergency c-section. At 11:52 AM, on Novemeber 3, 1978, Shawn Michael was born weighing 9 lbs, 3 1/2 oz, 22 inches long. He was beautiful, with lots of hair and blue eyes.

I remember the feeling of confidence that left me as we took him home that day. I had lived to be a mother and suddenly I was facing it. I felt so small and inadequate but I knew God would help me.

I purposed in my heart that this child would grow up knowing how much God loved him and how to be what God wanted him to be. When he was only 3 months old, I could ask him where Jesus was and his little eyes would go directly to the picture of "Jesus And The Children" over his changing table. I remember the first bible verse he memorized. "The Ward is my shep!" He would always use a arm motion at the end for emphasis.

The time came when at 4 he called me into his room where he and Maleah were sleeping together in his "big-boy bed". He was concerned that he was not saved. So after explaining the plan of salvation to him, I listened as he told Jesus he was sorry for his sins and asked Him to come into his heart. He immediately wanted me to tell "Maweah" about hell.

We used to play a game when riding where I would say something I was thankful to Jesus for and then he would say something he was thankful for. I remember the prayers at the end of the bed and at meals. I also remember one occasion when his heart was set on a certain "Transformer" and we prayed and I am pretty sure that he ended up trading for it with someone else.

There are so many memories in my heart. It would be hard for me to believe that there ever was a child that was more loved than Shawn was. We waited so long and I put so many hours into his care and upbringing.

There was a day when I reached down and took his little 3 year old hand and led him back to the bedroom and my heart was filled with so much love. I remember telling him that I had always wanted a little boy just like him!

I remember teaching him his letters and the sounds and helping him as he learned to read at an early age. We played for many hours with blocks and made cities all over our living room. We set up play houses with sheets and blankets and when Maleah got her kitchen set, we spent many hours playing that he and Maleah were the mom and dad in their house and I was the UPS delivery man. I would bring things to their bedroom door and deliver it.

I remember the many horsie rides on my back where I galloped through the house humming "The William Tell Overture"! I remember the ducks in the bathtub and "Gidget" the dog, the hamsters and "Flipper".

I remember getting to be the room mother in Kindergarten and how excited I was to have a child in school.

Learning to ride a bike was quite tragic in Shawn's life. I believe he may have fallen and scraped his knees BADLY at least 11 or 12 times before he finally got the hang of it. I kept telling him that some day he would be glad he knew how to ride a bike. It was finally all he could stand and I came in one day to find a sign on the front of his bike that he had made that said "For Sale"!! Thank goodness he got over it.

We had some great times with homeschooling. I remember the supper that he and Maleah made for us one time and he served like a butler, with the towel over his arm.

I remember the trombone and the specials he did with dad and how proud we were of he and Maleah and her trumpet as they did a few offeratory specials......well, except for that one!!! Remember, the one that was doing really good and then all of the sudden it all fell apart and Bro. Foster said something about just being glad it was over. I still think it was Bro. Horton's fault!!!!

So many memories!! School, friends, camp, junior church, TCCA, band, basketball, soccer, Awanas, knee surgery, Kamp Kickoff, Leadership Conferences, MAACS Competition, Girlfriends, learning to drive, his first kiss(of course mothers know when these things happen), college, cars, music, Lewis Motor,Wendy's, Holtzman-Bechtel, Best Buy, Circuit City, Ultimate Electronics, Eagle, engagement, moving to Florida and then the wedding.

Shawn you have been our pride and joy. We continue to be excited to hear from you and look forward to all that God has for you and Shannon!